id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
