We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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