She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize