is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
