got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
