Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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