so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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