just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
