obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
