I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
