I am puke
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
