And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
