just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
