I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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