I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
