The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
