Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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