Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
