im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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