No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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