Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
