Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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