roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You're like the curious george of whores
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize