Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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