apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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