There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
