i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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