He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize