Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
