wanna go halves on a baby?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
birth control should be required to get into college
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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