This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
