The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found puke in my bra..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
