My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
