We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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