i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
