Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
