this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
