i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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