Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize