"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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