she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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