I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
