Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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