you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
