If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
