Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
