Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
