Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
