fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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