i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
