sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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