Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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