I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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