I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize