I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
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I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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