Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
