Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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