I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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