I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize