They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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