I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
